I am plagued by one question - why is he like this? Is it because he was seduced at such a young age? I just don’t know. Am I prepared to give him that? Am I even capable? It illustrates what I can expect from him and what he expects from me – my total submission. I figure that it just sets up the parameters of the relationship. My research has told me that legally it’s unenforceable. Go through that ridiculous contract line by line and say what is acceptable and what isn’t. What am I going to do? I want him, but on his terms? I just don’t know. Snow Patrol blaring in my ears, I set off into the opal and aquamarine dusk. I wave and don’t stop for the inquisition.
She nearly drops her shopping when she sees me. Kate is walking from her car as I head out of the door. But that’s five miles, and I don’t think I’ll be able to run one mile, let alone five, and of course, he might turn me down which would be beyond humiliating. Quite frankly, I have a mind to run to the Heathman hotel and just demand sex from the control freak. I need to expend some of this excess, enervating, energy. I can’t sit in front of that marvel of technology and look at or read any more disturbing material. I put my hair in pigtails, blushing at the memories they bring back, and I plug in my iPod. I find my nasty, never-used sneakers, some sweat pants, and a t-shirt. For the first time in my life, I voluntarily go for a run.
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